Before the first brushstrokes have time to dry, Nikki Hendrix changes the room. “I’ve been depressed. I’ve been suicidal.”
Her voice is steady, but personal.
“During this time of year, I know you are overwhelmed with exams and making the right grades,” she tells students. “I’m here to let you know it’s okay. You’re going through the process. If you’re feeling stressed out, there are people here at OCC who are phenomenal. They are here to help you.”
Hendrix is a 16-year veteran of the Syracuse Police Department, a former Division I basketball player in Texas, and a professional athlete overseas in Switzerland. She’s also someone who understands what it means to carry invisible weight.
In March 2019, Hendrix received a department commendation for preventing a suicide when she talked a woman down from a parking garage. But while she was helping others through their darkest moments, she was struggling with her own.
“I go into work. I service everyone else. I answer everyone else’s questions. I solve everyone else’s problems,” she said. “I got to the point where I was struggling internally with what I’m seeing at work, with life — whatever the case may be.”
Looking for an outlet, Hendrix attended a painting event. “I had no idea I could paint or draw,” she said. “But it was therapeutic.” She started painting at home. Eventually, that outlet became a business and a way to help others. “I turned it into something where I could assist other people who were struggling… so they could find a little bit of peace through painting.”
On March 31, Hendrix brought that mission to Onondaga Community College, transforming the Gordon Student Center Great Room into an art studio as part of a painting therapy and suicide prevention workshop, presented in conjunction with the Counseling & Community Care Hub.
An image glowed on a screen at the front of the room, guiding students as they painted on their canvases. As they worked, Hendrix shared more of her story. In one of her most vulnerable moments, she told students her son once found her in the bathroom with a gun in her mouth. “I was so overwhelmed dealing with everyone else’s problems,” she said. “When I got home, I wasn’t able to cope with my own.”
She paused, then explained what changed. “I started reaching out for help. I started getting myself back together. Painting became my escape,” she said. “It helps me mentally with what I’m going through. Painting pretty much saved my life. “It’s therapeutic because it lets my mind relax,” she added. “I’m able to compartmentalize, to get to a baseline where I’m able to function.”
For students in the room, that honesty made an impact. “This event gave us the opportunity to talk about mental health in a safe space,” said Kierra Yager. “Especially with someone you can relate to. When she’s sharing her story, it makes it easier to think back on personal experiences.”
Quashawna Perry said the session helped her reset. “Maybe I can do some homework after this,” she said. “I like Miss Nikki. She has a lot of experience and she’s an inspiration to people our age and our generation. And she’s also a Black woman.”
Campus counselors say events like this are critical, especially for reaching students who might not otherwise seek help. “We’ve been making a campus-wide effort to make our services more known, but also reach more students we don’t normally reach,” said Laura Scott, a licensed master social worker. “We’re trying to offer different opportunities for students to interact and engage with us.”
This is the third time the painting workshop has been held, and each time, Hendrix’s story resonates. “There’s obviously a lot of stigma around discussions about suicide,” Scott said. “It’s really moving when she comes in and shares her story. Students are always very receptive to what she says.”
Around the room, paintings begin to take shape, color filling blank canvases, one brushstroke at a time. For Hendrix, that transformation is the point. “I love working with students,” she said. “They’re stressed and overwhelmed about grades. I want them to know it’s important to just get the degree, be the best person you can be - and you’re going to be successful.”
